


How I Learned to Breathe

by xofabulous



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Diary/Journal, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-23
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/282253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xofabulous/pseuds/xofabulous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy Joe doesn't get noticed much. He's not anything special, he's just a High School boy with a crush on the bad boy in his class, written entirely as a diary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dec 15th

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AshesInTwilight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesInTwilight/gifts), [Mildly_Neurotic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mildly_Neurotic/gifts).



> First time here at AO3, hoping to update this regularly, and will make notes whenever need be.

_December 15 th. _

_Dear Diary, (this is stupid!)_

 _I bought this stupid diary so I can vent out about…well, me and other spectacular happenings in my everyday life, and this guy. Really, I just want to let things out and my friend Monte put me up to it, he’s a total loser too, by the way…_

 _So there’s this guy at our school, his name is Adam, and he’s gorgeous…well, that’s how the story always starts, doesn’t it? There’s always this guy and he’s unreachable, because he totally is. He’s popular, he sings for the school band, he’s in drama class, he’s like master of the fucking universe in my high school…and get this, he smokes! How badass is that?!_

 _I’ve had this crush on Adam since maybe the third grade when I saw him trip in the playground and he cried like someone stole his candy. I was there, his eyes were misted and round, like whirlpools, and he made eye contact with me: Tommy Joe Ratliff! I was the little brunette in the blue jumpsuit, that’s right. I was pretty badass…not. Miss. Jackson (if you nasty…kidding!) held his little hand and carted him inside. I kind of wanted to hurt myself so we could get Spiderman Band-Aids together but even now I realize how psychotic that idea was._

 _Long story short, Adam just broke up with his boyfriend of I don’t know…two years, and is on the market again and looking as depressed as ever, and completely tortured soul-like. It is a small chance that something could finally happen for me. We’ve talked, a few times, but it always got interrupted. Always. It’s like fate hates me on grand scale and chooses to mess everything up every time I try and ask him out._

 _There’s a school Christmas dance coming up soon, he’s not going with anyone and I’m not with anyone (I haven’t ever been, flying solo since like birth), and I’m trying to work up the courage to ask him out before someone else does._

 _So, tomorrow is the big day and I can’t wait to do it, I’m already sweating, my hands are clammy and I can barely hold my pen, feels like I’m nauseous…I haven’t ever felt like this for a guy before. I kissed one guy, it was last year and his name was Tyler Morris, and it was okay, but I wasn’t picturing him when I had my eyes closed. I was picturing Adam._

 _God, what it would be like to kiss Adam Lambert. I bet it would be like what heaven to some would feel like. The dreamy romance music would come on, he would wrap me up in his arms, tell me I’m beautiful—okay, not that dramatic, but you’re getting the picture. He would cup my cheek and gaze into my eyes and lower his lips to mine…he would taste like cinnamon, because that’s his favorite gum (I swear I’m not a stalker, I just have info), and it would tingle a little. After that, we would walk hand in hand, skip last period and go make-out in his bedroom while Queen is playing in the background._

 _…_

 _Adam took his shirt off in front of my window, you see he lives across the street from me, with his mom—his dad died when he was ten—and his curtains were wide open, and he just peeled off his black tank and I saw…everything. I drooled a bucket, but here’s my problem. I think he saw me! I think he caught me looking. I’m so scared. What if he confronts me tomorrow? What would I say to him?_

 _‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, you were just there, in your house…and I was looking…from my house, like a creep and just happened to see you.’_

 _No, pretty sure I would get slapped._

 _He may have smiled at me._

 _I think he smiled._

 _…he didn’t, I don’t think._

 _Holy shit, mom just shouted at me and said someone is here to see me. Holy shit…Write later!!_


	2. December 16th.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same summary as before, I'm going to post two updates together, as I will not always get a chance to write.

December 16th.

Adam came over last night. Adam came over to me, ME! At first I thought he was going to punch me in the face but it wasn’t like that. It kind of went something like this:

‘So, I saw you watching.” Adam is looking all rumpled and dressed in his sexy as hell leather jacket and I’m so not concentrating on what he’s saying so he has to repeat it…twice.

“Sorry, I um…well, I wasn’t really watching, it was more like you happened by the window at the time I needed some air…” Lame. I know, I’m lame. It was a damn good excuse at the time though, not so much now because going back on it, he was totally chuckling… and I’m not sure if he was doing it in a condescending manner or if that was his way of thinking I’m cute. Because I can be! I’m totally cute, in a mousy kind of way.

I kind of want to pull a grease transformation on him, you know like Sandy and Danny and the whole ‘you’re the one that I want’ gig, but I don’t know how hot I would look in tight leather and an off the shoulder shirt.

I need a makeover!

…

I’m blonde. Not cheesy blonde but blonde, like…white platinum. My mom is going to slay me though when she finds out the damage on her card. I can just say it’s like…it’s like an early Christmas present. I also bought my first tube of eyeliner. It’s black and I’m not sure how to go about not poking my eye out so I’m thinking youtube has some sort of ‘how-to for idiots’ on how to apply this shit. I actually like how I look blonde. I mean, it’s different, more…showy even, attention grabbing. But not too grabbing, because I don’t want everyone grabbing, just Adam.

…

Adam was putting out Santa Claus and he saw me. He fucking saw me, in my little pea coat and scarf, and he came over and told me I look good. I look good. Damn right. My insides were coiling and twisting and there were butterflies. So many butterflies. And he touched my hair too. Here’s to the next week’s jerk-off fantasy of him grabbing a fistful of my hair. Also, I’ve learned to lock my bedroom door, apparently my room is free-for-all and no one knocks.

I wonder who Adam sees when he’s doing it. I wonder if I’ll ever be one of his fantasies? That idea makes me all sorts of nervous. Side note: my mother better not read this shit.

Speaking of reading my stuff, I’m moving up to my room, I was sitting by the front window, watching Adam finish up the sleigh and the reindeer…well, I was watching his ass when he bent over in his black jeans. Gorgeous!

Now that I’m relocated without the worry of my mother peeping over my shoulder and reading about any of my jerk-off fantasies, I can continue to gush about how Adam is still outside, while it’s snowing, and finishing up his front lawn display. It’s not as bad as National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s way cooler than that.  
Damn it. I forgot to ask him to the dance.

I’m an idiot.

Okay, it can be totally written off because I forgot and I didn’t make it into school today to do my hair. So much for a doctor’s note, but really who cares? I’m not going to get into that much trouble.

…

Adam tapped on my bedroom window about an hour ago. He was like all Romeo outside of my window! I was Juliet! (Fucking English class). He was really upset and it’s kind of strange because he can kind of call any of his millions of friends, fans, or minions but he comes to me…and he’s high. He was cursing and angry and I had to totally shut him up or my mom might think I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), the only shitty part was that it was all about his boyfriend…of course. Adam told me he cheated. I don’t think I would take him for a cheater so kind of feeling bummed about that. I don’t know the details so I’m not going to judge.

He threw up in my bathroom. I kind of wanted to rub his back but I have a weak stomach so I’m not sure who would be holding up who’s hair and I’m really not down for that. He probably wouldn’t be either. In total he spent about an hour and a half here. I think he really wants his boyfriend back.

I think I might cry.

I hate that. Why doesn’t anything ever go my way? Why do I always have to pine and every time I get close to wanting to further anything in my life, a road block pops up and it’s ‘dead end, Tommy, turn your ass around’. Life is so fucking unfair. I’m completely sour.

Totally putting asking him to the dance on the back burner. Tomorrow he’ll probably be back with his boyfriend. He was going home to call him. I’m going to be sick.

…

I can’t sleep, it’s passed midnight and I have school tomorrow and I’m stuck here with my lamp on, in my pajamas, writing. He’s all I think about and when I close my eyes he’s all I see. Is this what love is? Is that even love? My heart aches thinking about him going back with Joss. What does Joss have that I don’t…oh yeah, Adam Lambert’s attention. I’m a moron.

I need to try and sleep, I have to be up at seven tomorrow. Mr. Clark will likely give me shit for missing science, maybe I’ll get any homework off of Monte. Oh gym is going to be a riot, maybe I’ll forget my shorts or something.

No matter what I think, no matter whatever subject I get on. It all leads back to him. I’m ruined.


	3. December 17th.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As before, same summary. Part 3, enjoy!

December 17th.

Fuck everything. I got a note from Monte today in Science. It’s official, Adam is taken once more. I knew it. I freaking knew it. It’s not like I had any claim right?! It’s not like I haven’t been there since forever and a damn day pining over this…idiot.

Adam isn’t an idiot. I’m just really frustrated and angry and upset…I cried. No, I’m crying, because it’s still happening and I’m in the bathroom stall, sitting on the floor writing this through gym class. Fuck gym, who needs gym… if I wanted to exercise I would run a marathon. It’s not pathetic to cry, but I’ve been in love (well, I think it’s love) with Adam Lambert since we were kids. We’re talking playground love, and I already mentioned how that came about.

Firstly, his boyfriend doesn’t deserve him. Secondly, he mustn’t keep Adam’s attention if Adam is seeking it elsewhere. And thirdly, finally, there was a reason why Adam came to my house and sought out my advice. Not that it helped him any, he went and did the opposite of what I was wanting, even if my traitor lips were telling him everything he wanted to hear.

Guys are so frustrating! UGH.

Someone is in the bathroom…I’m afraid it’s coach, I don’t want to peek out and see their shoes but I can hear their feet tapping lightly on the floor. I’m kind of holding my breath, my hand is a little shaky.

It’s Adam.

Oh god what do I do?!

…

He kissed me! He kissed me. It was so romantic and dreamy and everything I thought it would be. He cupped my cheek and told me these exact words:

‘You’re so pretty…have you ever been called pretty? Pretty baby.’

It was all whispered against my ear, making me shiver from head to toe and I can admit I started getting interested… way interested. It was a chaste kiss, there was no tongue, but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that his lips were on mine.

I don’t know what to do. What does this mean? Does it mean that he likes me, that—that they’re not really together? I swear I’ll kill Monte if they really aren’t for making me believe it. I am on cloud ten and a half. Still debating on asking him to the dance. I only have a couple of days…decisions, decisions. I’ll wait it out a few days, see how it all pans out from here.

…

Adam gave me a drive home in his mom’s car. He said he had wanted to talk. It resulted in him telling me that the kiss was a ‘thank you’, that he really found me pretty, and that he was sorry for pouncing me in the bathroom. I liked it! I wanted to shout that I liked it but that wouldn’t help the situation because clearly it was only a ‘thank you’. Who kisses people for thank yous? I give people cards, I shake their hands, I fucking give them hugs even but I don’t go to my grandma and give her a big whopping kiss when she hands me milk and cookies (which you are never too old for, thanks). Which is gross on so many levels.

I am going to die a virgin if I wait on Adam Lambert. Monte said it hurts. I imagine with every fiber of my being that it WOULD hurt. I also like to picture Adam as being big. It makes me shiver to think about and I know it’s weird but I dream it all the time. Us in a big bed, soft music playing and he’s always touching me nice and sweet and trying to make it feel so good. He likes the sound of my moans in my fantasies and tries to get me to be louder. He’s almost always on top, holding my thighs apart and pulling my feet up by his face, kissing my ankles.

No, that’s not going to happen though, but it does happen to Joss. Jealousy is a damn good sin to have. If I’m going to have one of the seven, it’s got to be that one. Envy is my deadly sin. Goddamn tattoo it on my forehead.

…

They are not dating. Adam texted someone who texted Monte and then in turn got to me. Adam apparently is really upset but is totally sure that they are over. Hell yes. I don’t enjoy the misery of others but I might have a small, tiny…facture of a chance.

Who the hell am I kidding?

Also, my mom thinks that writing in a diary (she’s seen it, but not inside, thank god.) is good therapy, and she’s happy I seem to be being productive and in her way ‘creatively expressing my emotions’. Mom is a psychiatrist. She’s good at reading people and I would love to be able to have that talent but I’m pretty sure the only thing I want to do with my life right now is finish High School in one piece. Preferably.

I wonder if Adam has a diary. I wonder if he writes about his exploits. His past relationships…sex. I wonder if he says anything in there about me. I don’t really do God, I mean I believe there is something up there, but I’m not deeply religious or anything, to each their own, but I would pray on my hands and knees to keep this from ever being read by Adam.

I’m really tired and I’m probably going to nap, dream about the fact that I actually kissed by Adam. I can still feel it tingling on my lips. And…And! He tastes just like cinnamon.

I bet his arms feel nice. I wish him behind me…holding me and kissing the back of my neck, breathing soft against my skin…rubbing a hand on my chest and laying me back to the pillows, safe and tucked in under blankets. I wish we could sleep like this together.

I wish…


	4. December 20th.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam won’t be able to say no. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, I just haven't had time and work is crazy freaking busy.

Dec 20th. 

Today is the day, or rather the night of the Christmas dance. Monte as a date, of course, freaking idiot, and here I am without still, the balls have not dropped so I cannot ask Adam. Aka, I am scared shitless. I don’t want him to deny me, that would be horrible and it would totally crush my soul—and dreams.

Am in fourth period, just waiting on the day to pass, the clock isn’t moving and I’m about to lose my mind. I think my English teacher thinks I’m all writing her big bad essay on the Civil war. Nope, Miss Huskins, I’m totally writing about this amazing guy who I cannot seem to gather the courage to ask out. Peace. 

-

I look—silly, well, not really silly. Youtube told me eyeliner tricks and shit, so that’s done, my face is taken care of, I fixed my hair all messy-like, which is the new style for the year (or so google says), honestly, I’m not fashion forward. At all. But, here I am in some tight black jeans, my long sleeve, leather jacket, and my cute little fedora. Adam won’t be able to say no. Right? 

Monte said he’d pick us up in his car, which okay is cool, but really? Adam can drive, though if I ask am I supposed to drive? It’s not like prom where the guy has to pick you up, but I’m asking so shouldn’t I? But I don’t drive and he does. I’m not sure what the standard is. Fuck. And also, it isn’t like prom where the entire idea for the guy is to get laid, I’m not even thinking about that, my main goal in life is just for Adam to notice me, which already happened, but to notice me in an attractive way.  
Monte thinks I’m obsessive, but I’m not really, it’s just that I am completely in love with this guy and I would very much like for him to agree to be my date for the dance tonight. 

There’s a car outside his house, it doesn’t belong to his mom. Fuck everything, it’s Joss. With flowers to boot. Why do I have to get shit on by the powers that be, honestly? Like what did I do? Nothing. 

Which is also true, I did nothing, and that’s probably why he’s going to accept and go to the Christmas dance with Joss who’s dressed like santa’s little helper. No really. He’s in red and green and makes me want to puke because he’s so much into the holiday spirit. 

So all I have to survive is tonight and then I will be on Christmas break until January 6th. I think Adam and his mom are going away for Christmas, or that’s what my mom said. My mom knows everything, but don’t mothers? 

-

Joss and Adam are together at the dance, I’m hiding behind the benches, sitting on the floor, my messenger bag being taken care of by Suzie J, Monte’s ex-girlfriend, and praying nobody notices me. I’m sure someone spiked the punch because I am a tiny bit tipsy. 

Shit! Suzie just said that Adam was looking around for someone, she thinks it might be me. Time to make an appearance. 

He danced with me. No, he really did and it was outside, just listening to the music, he said he didn’t want Joss to see us, because Joss is stupidly jealous and that he only agreed to come to the dance with Joss because no one else asked…. Fuck, I so should have asked. And he kissed me, right on the lips and told me that he didn’t know why anyone hasn’t snatched me up yet, and that if I were his…he would be slapping boys off of me.

If I were his.

Adam, I want to be yours!

I’m all a flutter sitting on my bed in my pjs, my heart is thumping and my head is spinning at how amazing this night has gone. I don’t care about anything right now but the way we danced and how his lips felt and tasted. Something needs to happen soon. I need to man up and do something about this.


	5. December 17th.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As before, same summary. Part 3, enjoy!

December 17th.

Fuck everything. I got a note from Monte today in Science. It’s official, Adam is taken once more. I knew it. I freaking knew it. It’s not like I had any claim right?! It’s not like I haven’t been there since forever and a damn day pining over this…idiot.

Adam isn’t an idiot. I’m just really frustrated and angry and upset…I cried. No, I’m crying, because it’s still happening and I’m in the bathroom stall, sitting on the floor writing this through gym class. Fuck gym, who needs gym… if I wanted to exercise I would run a marathon. It’s not pathetic to cry, but I’ve been in love (well, I think it’s love) with Adam Lambert since we were kids. We’re talking playground love, and I already mentioned how that came about.   
Firstly, his boyfriend doesn’t deserve him. Secondly, he mustn’t keep Adam’s attention if Adam is seeking it elsewhere. And thirdly, finally, there was a reason why Adam came to my house and sought out my advice. Not that it helped him any, he went and did the opposite of what I was wanting, even if my traitor lips were telling him everything he wanted to hear.

Guys are so frustrating! UGH.

Someone is in the bathroom…I’m afraid it’s coach, I don’t want to peek out and see their shoes but I can hear their feet tapping lightly on the floor. I’m kind of holding my breath, my hand is a little shaky.

It’s Adam.

Oh god what do I do?!

…

He kissed me! He kissed me. It was so romantic and dreamy and everything I thought it would be. He cupped my cheek and told me these exact words:   
‘You’re so pretty…have you ever been called pretty? Pretty baby.’

It was all whispered against my ear, making me shiver from head to toe and I can admit I started getting interested… way interested. It was a chaste kiss, there was no tongue, but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that his lips were on mine.

I don’t know what to do. What does this mean? Does it mean that he likes me, that—that they’re not really together? I swear I’ll kill Monte if they really aren’t for making me believe it. I am on cloud ten and a half. Still debating on asking him to the dance. I only have a couple of days…decisions, decisions. I’ll wait it out a few days, see how it all pans out from here.

…

Adam gave me a drive home in his mom’s car. He said he had wanted to talk. It resulted in him telling me that the kiss was a ‘thank you’, that he really found me pretty, and that he was sorry for pouncing me in the bathroom. I liked it! I wanted to shout that I liked it but that wouldn’t help the situation because clearly it was only a ‘thank you’. Who kisses people for thank yous? I give people cards, I shake their hands, I fucking give them hugs even but I don’t go to my grandma and give her a big whopping kiss when she hands me milk and cookies (which you are never too old for, thanks). Which is gross on so many levels.

I am going to die a virgin if I wait on Adam Lambert. Monte said it hurts. I imagine with every fiber of my being that it WOULD hurt. I also like to picture Adam as being big. It makes me shiver to think about and I know it’s weird but I dream it all the time. Us in a big bed, soft music playing and he’s always touching me nice and sweet and trying to make it feel so good. He likes the sound of my moans in my fantasies and tries to get me to be louder. He’s almost always on top, holding my thighs apart and pulling my feet up by his face, kissing my ankles.

No, that’s not going to happen though, but it does happen to Joss. Jealousy is a damn good sin to have. If I’m going to have one of the seven, it’s got to be that one. Envy is my deadly sin. Goddamn tattoo it on my forehead.

…

They are not dating. Adam texted someone who texted Monte and then in turn got to me. Adam apparently is really upset but is totally sure that they are over. Hell yes. I don’t enjoy the misery of others but I might have a small, tiny…facture of a chance.

Who the hell am I kidding?

Also, my mom thinks that writing in a diary (she’s seen it) is good therapy, and she’s happy I seem to be being productive and in her way ‘creatively expressing my emotions’. Mom is a psychiatrist. She’s good at reading people and I would love to be able to have that talent but I’m pretty sure the only thing I want to do with my life right now is finish High School in one piece. Preferably.

I wonder if Adam has a diary. I wonder if he writes about his exploits. His past relationships…sex. I wonder if he says anything in there about me. I don’t really do God, I mean I believe there is something up there, but I’m not deeply religious or anything, to each their own, but I would pray on my hands and knees to keep this from ever being read by Adam.

I’m really tired and I’m probably going to nap, dream about the fact that I actually kissed by Adam. I can still feel it tingling on my lips. And…And! He tastes just like cinnamon.

I bet his arms feel nice. I wish him behind me…holding me and kissing the back of my neck, breathing soft against my skin…rubbing a hand on my chest and laying me back to the pillows, safe and tucked in under blankets. I wish we could sleep like this together.

I wish…


	6. Chapter 5: December 20th (cont...)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Same as before ;) )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has been so long, but here is a brand new chapter. I found inspiration again, and I promise to update at least once a week!!!

December 20th 

I did it, I grew balls and dressed up because clearly I couldn’t sleep and my body was buzzing with electricity and—and I went over to Adam’s house (which I am still here), he’s sleeping beside me but the point remains that I am here. Anyway, I’ll take it from the top about how it all went down.

I dressed up in my tank and jeans, threw on some socks and shoes, and literally ran across the street to Adam’s house without a coat on, it was fucking freezing by the way and knocked on the door at like the unreasonable hour of two AM. His mom thankfully didn’t answer, but he did and he was all rubbing his eyes and looking crazy cute and blinky eyed. I said I was sorry so he let me in and asked me what was wrong, so the conversation went like this: 

“Adam, I have something…I kinda wanna tell you something, okay?” I was nervous, my palms were clammy and I am sure my skin just paled to a ghostly shade. 

He came closer to me and his face wrinkled up in concern (which is the cutest thing….anyway!). “What’s wrong, Tommy?” 

I couldn’t look him in the eye, so I stared at his bare feet and concentrated on the black nail polish on his toes. “I want to be with you…I want to make you happy, I’ve been…fuck, I have had a crush on you since like forever and a day.” 

“Look at me,” was all he said. 

I looked up and he cupped my face in his hands and we kissed. It was so damn perfect that I swear to god Michael Bolton was playing in the background. I am the happiest person alive right now. He told me after our kiss that he had been crushing on me too but wasn’t sure how to go about actually working up the nerve to ask me (oh my god, right?!) and that he was really happy I had done it first because he was too shy to do it himself. I totally couldn’t belive Adam was ever shy but he told me I was different. 

I haven’t even texted Monte yet, I don’t want to right now, am too busy writing this and peeping at Adam’s sleeping face. He’s all wrapped around me like he doesn’t want to let go, arm around my waist and mumbling in his sleep words that I can’t even understand. I should probably lay down now before he realizes I’m writing in my silly journal, but god…I don’t ever want this night to end. 

-

I’m home now and all I can think about is him and what happened between us last night, just sleeping together, wrapped in each other’s arms. God, he was so warm, kind of like a heater…it was amazing, I don’t ever think I slept so freaking good. I want to be back over there but here I am, home and bored and lonely. He’s out shopping with his mom, he texted me not too long ago. I just want to see him. 

I’m ruined. 

Haven’t told Monte yet, I’m too chicken shit but that’s fine, I’m sure he’ll find out when school starts back up on the sixth. 

Mom’s cooking something in the kitchen, it smells so good, I’m upstairs curled up under a blanket and halfway staring out of the window like a love-sick loser waiting on Adam to go home so I can stare at him a little more. I don’t want him to leave on Christmas break! I hope they don’t go away. 

-

I am ruined, my heart hurts and my eyes are burning from crying. Joss went over to Adam’s house and I he hasn’t left yet. Adam hasn’t even texted me when I asked him if he wanted to come over and have supper with me and mom, then watch Star Wars (I know, I know!) but he hasn’t replied to me and I’m nervous and having a panic attack. I don’t want him and Joss to do anything. 

-

He finally texted me, he said he was sorry, Joss was there and crying and wanting him back but Adam said he was done. I hate being so…ugh, I just hate the way I feel. Like this nervous jittery feeling that something bad is going to happen. 

Adam’s coming over, I can see him crossing the street! Oh my goodness…. 

-

Sooo… we made out, it was hot, he um…went down on me, and it was… I can’t even, but it was fucking amazing and I am so in love with him and I just have to say that it was amazing again. I just hope to shit my mom didn’t hear me moaning his name or anything embarrassing. I still can’t believe it happened. It was so sweet, he was just petting through my hair and staring at me, like right in the eyes, and then he said to me that he wanted to touch, I was nervous at first but then I let him because I trust him and he started rubbing me a little…which I can tell you he is amazing with his hands, like some sort of pro…anyway, he kissed over my chest and stomach, peeling my shirt off as he went and then yanked my jeans down and…and he did it. 

Fuck, it was hot. What I didn’t expect was for him to then whip out his cock and come across my stomach. He said he was ‘claiming me’, like making my body his…Christ, that turned me on so much. Adam is so sexy. I’m going to bed now, I’m on a happy high. I can’t wait for tomorrow, he said he’s coming over and we’re going to watch as much of the Star Wars movies as we can, all snuggled up in my blankets. I can’t wait, I’m so excited! 

Next time…I’m going to return the favor to him, I just don’t want to be bad at it. I am a little scared though…I really don’t want to be bad at making Adam feel good.


End file.
